Last week I did not. My husband and I got into a big fight on Monday and for the rest of the week I went in and out (mostly in) with my anger. It was a HORRIBLE week for me. I had no peace, I was in self will run riot for sure. I did not read, hardly prayed and white knuckled my anger and wrestled with God. Friday it lifted. God showed me through my four year old just how miserable I was. She is a very perceptive child and said "Mommy you are always tired bc you are miserable." Very humbling and it shook me to my core. God used her to make me surrender. I was able to thank her for her honesty, tell her how true that was and smart she was, apologize, and surrender my husband and my anger before God. We had a wonderful day and weekend.
I woke up in the wee hours of this morning, burning inside with anger. Sometimes I wake up and think "it is not true, it was a bad dream". Then reality hits. So this morning I decided I cannot do this. I cannot will myself of anger. I have got to work my program just as I did with the alcohol. So today I am. I want peace today and God's will, not mine. God spoke to me as I was making coffee to read my Bible. I opened it to Ezekiel 36 and felt God whispering for me to read- it was about God promising physical restoration along with spiritual for the land of Israel- He never fails to show me His promises when I am willing. So this verse is my prayer for the week.
26A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.