Good morning and Happy Thanksgiving. God is so gracious and His mercies are new every morning. I am so thankful for my sweet little ones that run around my feet, give great bear hugs, tell me how thankful they are for the Bible and The Gospel, God and Jesus, keep me laughing and keep me striving to seek out and love the Lord and teach them everyday about our Savior who loves them beyond their imagination. I pray He will use each of them intentionally for His kingdom as they grow. They already teach me more about having childlike faith and minister to me daily.
I am thankful for my marriage. I am thankful that we can raise our children together and we aren't separate this Thanksgiving and our children aren't being shuttled around between the two of us. I am thankful for a year of sorrow and pain that has led us to growth and freedom in our marriage. For a husband who shows up and expresses his disappointments, fears, hopes and dreams to me and that I am sober today to listen and engage him. I love him. I really do. We have walked through the fiery furnace and we have both paid consequences in huge ways for our sins, but ultimately we can say "God is good" and He knows how much we can bear. His mercy NEVER ends and his steadfast love endures through out the ages even to ragamuffins like us. We only have today, this moment, and we can only be grateful for another day of sobriety! And that we both are.
A little update on our marriage recovery....We are now walking with a couple, Suzanne and Paul Tally (www.christianmarriagesincrisis.com) who we meet with 3 hours a week and talk to everyday. They believe that your own recovery is important, but so is your recovery TOGETHER as a couple. When two are joined together in marriage Christ ultimately sees you as ONE flesh, so it is important to come together and work recovery together for your marriage. It has been amazing and we have already seen so many truths and revelations about each other and ourselves. As I have stated before the quote I love, "He has made us fruitful in the land of our affliction." His promises are true and He is restoring and redeeming. To not cherry coat it and make it all sound wonderful, the honest truth is that it is hard and painful. It is healing though. We are rebuilding our marriage from the foundation up. The old is gone and the new is coming. Some days are better than others, some days I have peace and some days I have angst in my soul I can't shake, but I have faith on the those days that God is moving, working and restoring. We would not be here without Him. God is all, or He is nothing. Today I can cling to He is ALL...Praise be His name!
Side note...to rid myself of self-pity, angst, chaos, whenever I am just plain hurting, making a gratitude list on paper always helps show me see His love and faithfulness for me. Today I am grateful and know the story of my life is mapped out. I can trust and rest in the fact He knows me and loves me and seeks me out to console and help me to rest in the shadow of His wings!