I am thankful today for so many things. I am thankful for a deep peace. I am thankful for a year that is coming up for my sobriety July 30th. I am thankful for my sweet sleeping three, healthy children. I am thankful for good books which point me to having a deep, deep faith- Hudson Taylor's autobiography is the lastest. I am thankful for being set free. I am thankful I am growing to know myself, the GOOD and the bad. I am thankful for my recovery groups and everything I have learned over this past year from the people in them. I am thankful for our church and our sweet, sweet small group. I am thankful I woke up today and that I have a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in at night, and for sure air conditioning.
I am seeing the world through new eyes. I am reacting to others in new ways. I am learning to love and accept who I am in Christ and to respect myself and trust myself. I am learning what it really means to let go and let God. I have a long road ahead of me, but I am excited. I am excited to keep experiencing a deep joy and peace that few people ever get. I am excited to get to know and love my Savior more everyday. I am excited about being free from my resentments and hurts...I am getting there, slowly. I am excited about walking with others towards freedom from their hurts, habits and hang-ups as I soon will move into getting sponsee's.
Life is good and I have never been happier. A quote from Hudson Taylor's book really hit home- "No unforeseen mischance had happened, but that these circumstances which seemed to be so trying were necessary links in the chain of a divinely ordered providence, guiding to other and wider spheres. God does not permit persecution to arise without sufficient reason....He was leading us by a way which we knew not; but nonetheless His way."
God still does move mountains. He performs miracles and he changes hearts and lives. I am blessed because I get to see it everyday in recovery. I see broken people become restored and lives changed. It is nothing short of God's hand and His work in broken, ruined run-down lives. Although I would never have chosen this road, I can today say I am grateful for each struggle and difficulty. For I know Him in ways I would have never. I have clung to Him as the billows rolled over me and I thought I might drown in sadness and anger. BUT He has been faithful. He has been the light in the darkness and shown me the way on a journey I on my own strength and will could have never made. I shutter to think where I would be if He weren't with me guiding me.... for sure in a dark, dark place. So today HIS light shines through me. He is with me now in all I do. "His will not mine" in everything. I am dancing to a different tune, that of a sweet Redeemer's soothing voice and am dancing on enchanted ground. Praise be to God!