"This is not a destination, it is a work in progress." How true that is, having lunch with my sponsor we were talking about this very thing. There is no such thing as spiritual perfection. We aim to be more like Christ, but our flesh fails us daily, but yet we keep striving. Where there is discord we pray for unity. Where there is hate we pray for love. Where there is despair we pray for hope. A year ago I walked through the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous an irritable, discontent, restless soul. Today I walked through those very same doors a happy, content, peaceful person. Recovery works if you are willing. When you are at the bottom of yourself and your efforts and are ready to do whatever it takes to walk the road to freedom then you are ready to take your first step. Surrender, what an easy word to get in theory, but hard to get in your soul. By God's grace I was there, I was like a sheep who was willing to follow as if my life depended on it. What a bittersweet time. Since that time I have gotten to the bottom of myself in other area's, how I treat people, my anger, my control, my sadness....it's a scary, but beautiful place to get too for then you are ready to take the first step, hand God the reins and let Him take control.
So as I continue along I pray for the grace of constant surrender. I pray to know and obey my Savior more because I truly love Him and he has rescued me from a death in which I could not save myself. He has taken a tormented soul and set her free. By no means do I live this perfectly, but I strive to daily. I am conscious of my failings and don't try to do better because there is no way I can, but with shaking hands and a discouraged heart I hand them over to Him and know and trust that His grace abounds more than I can begin to fathom. I am thankful for a Father who knows and loves me and before I can say "I am so sorry, I failed again" He whispers to me "I am so glad you came home." Recovery and sobriety have given me more than I ever hoped, I am being made into a new creation in every way and have fallen in love with my Lord who has always just been a "Savior" to me and no one, not even death can take that away. I look forward to the day I DO reach my destination and see His heavenly face. Until then I journey on the beaten path with those who encourage me along until that day.