Sunday, January 24, 2010

Pain and Providence

This is what the sermon was on today. It was on the story of Joseph and how he endured pain of being sold into slavery by his own brothers, but yet God's hand was in it all. God has to be sovereign, if not then I would be hopeless. My sponsor through Celebrate Recovery recently shared with me..."During our darkest days, I was regularly tempted to just give up because it was too hard. I so wanted to play that “get out of jail” free card that God gives us when adultery is there. In the beginning it was my children that held me there. I wanted to break the curse of generational sin in the their lives and I truly believed that the only option for me was to give their Father a chance at redemption, so that He could become the Father that they deserved. But ultimately God kept putting Himself and His Word in front of me. His word says I am here to glorify Him with my life and one of the ways He chooses to do that is through my marriage. We walk away many times in our own power. But the only way a woman, who has been betrayed as we have, can stay is through the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives. It is not possible to do alone, trust me, I tried. Don’t lean on your own understanding in this, your pain will tell you to run."
That has been so encouraging because I have stayed because of my children. I do want them to grow up with their daddy around who does love them and is a great father. I am slowly seeing he wants to use all this pain and affliction for His glory, but I must continue to turn to Him to be reminded, minute by minute. Satan whispers in my ear what an idiot I am to stay and all the what-ifs. I know I must trust and I am wrestling daily to do so. God whispers to me to in the brighter moments, "Don't be afraid. I am faithful to you." Several points made in the sermon were "God's providence is the ONLY foundation for embracing life's pain. Not only does he SURVIVE the pain, he THRIVES in it. God takes the sins of His destroyers and makes them the means of their deliverance." May I believe this to my core.
It is not up yet, but the sermon was amazing. Here is the link to sermons, hopefully it will be up tomorrow.

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