Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Walking in Faith and the voice of doubt.

I am tempted daily to listen to the voice of doubt. It is hard to walk by faith and not by sight. As the inner battle in my head begins, it is not a pretty sight or a good place to be, to say the least. If I am not constantly aware of Satan's attacks on my thoughts I fall right back into the trap of self-pity and fear. I am learning how to get out of those moments faster and also am learning the H.A.L.T. (hungry, angry, lonely or tired) and how really true that is. I am in the hospital right now, was diagnosed with Diverticulitis yesterday and leading up to it, obviously I wasn't feeling well which made me tired and angry for sure. I was so snappy and mean to my husband and really had crazy thoughts of leaving him and how stupid I have been to stay in this marriage. I was totally buying into Satan lies that were swirling around in my head.
So we walk by faith and not by sight, and it's that easy right? Not at all, it is a daily, moment by moment surrender for me. I think of how Abraham must have felt when God told him to sacrifice his only son Issac. How the voice of doubt must have swirled around in his head, BUT he obeyed. And God was faithful. It is an inner battle of the heart and mind and I do believe there is a spiritual warfare going on over our marriages and our lives. Especially when Satan has had you in sin for so long, he is not going to give you up easily. So today I will choose to walk by faith and know that my God is faithful and He loves and cares for me far beyond my comprehension!

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