5 Months Today!

Wow, that is hard to say. Looking back, I couldn't wait for 30 days of sobriety. I kept hearing people say, they could remember what it was like to hit 30 days of sobriety, and now they are picking up 1,2, 3 year chips and it gave me hope.... now here I am at 5 months and am beginning to see life through clearer eyes... still not clear, but much better than where it was.

One example happened this morning. My wife asked if I needed her, I was able to ask if she wanted it, or was she just trying to give it for me... she responded she just wanted to give it for me and that she really didn't want it. I was able to say, thank you, but I am ok. (sorry to talk in code, never know who is reading this)

For once I am seeing that Sex is not a NEED, it's a WANT. If I don't eat or even breathe for that matter, I will start experiencing pain, and would eventually die.... The only pain I am feeling now is the pain from when I thought Sex was a NEED and how it hurt so many people.... That is something I have really enjoyed learning. I hope it will begin to take less pressure off of my wife and less shame off of her and eventually lead to a intimate relationship that is much more than I ever expected.... that's my hope.

-C