The Bondage of Self

I am in this. I want to control. I want to know. I want to be assured that this will never happen again. I am having to have constant surrender of this or else I end up in dark, dark places. Lord help me to do and be the following.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon:
where there is doubt, faith ;
where there is despair, hope
where there is darkness, light
where there is sadness, joy
O divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.
Prayer of Saint Francis