Thursday, March 4, 2010

Daddy, Daddy, are you there? I am hurting.

Last night my son was jumping on the bed, I told him that if he kept doing it he was going to get hurt, I wasn't going to make him stop, I just wanted to warn him that he would get hurt and let him make his decision on whether he wanted to take that chance. It took about 5 minutes before he tried to do a flip and landed on his arm.... and got hurt. All I could do was hurt for him...

All night about every hour he would wake up and call out, "daddy, daddy, are you there?" in a very weak quiet cry. Every hour I would walk in and affirm him that I was and that I loved him. By 3:00 I finally told him that I would lay with him the rest of the night, I am here, get some rest.

I told a brother about that today and he pointed out the beautiful picture of the gospel in last night.
"The story of your son crying out your name made me think. How God must feel to see us in the pain that we are in. How it hurts Him to see us suffering. How it hurts Him to know that we are hurt. How He stays with us - even all night. How He loves us so much that we are His main concern. I know that not all the pain in my life has not been caused by me - family issues, addiction - but I do know that I have caused many of my own hurts. Like your son, I did something I thought I could without concern for myself. I got hurt. Unfortunately, others were hurt as well. But I do know that my Abba Father is there holding me, listening to my cries, and loving me as I cry and hurt."

How BEAUTIFUL this is! God tells us not to jump on the bed because we will get hurt, yet we do it anyway. Then after we are hurt, we cry out in our pain, "Daddy, Daddy, Are you there? I am hurting" and each time he comes in and tucks us back in, kisses our forehead, tells us HE LOVES US, and we try to get some rest. Then we wake up again, and he finally comes in and put his arms around us and then we rest. It takes my son getting hurt for me to realize God has his arms around me right now... Thank you Father, thank you for loving me....

(After talking with some folks, I forgot to add this piece
the first time I came in, I asked if he wanted medicine to help the pain and he said no (HOW INSANE?) so he went to sleep, so did I, then in about an hour I heard the faint voice again, and this time I asked if he wanted medicine and he said yes… how sad is it that God asks us if we want help and we say no… until finally we do say yes…
It's a mystery)


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