Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Diving into the Deep
Today we met with our sex addiction counselor. We both came with our sex inventory ready to share. For me it was a small part of processing my view on sex and my view on myself. My homework is to write my view of men, which scares me because I am not sure where to begin. All the men in my life who I have trusted have all lied to me. I know liars will be on the top of the list. As we have been told, and are learning first hand, this process is very slow and answers don't come quickly enough. I feel like on our 2ND meeting we are diving in though and will continue to go much, much deeper. I am hoping there will be an oyster at the bottom with a huge beautiful pearl inside to make it worth it. I am hoping for a marriage built on intimacy and trust. I am hoping and praying that my husband can continue in sobriety. I am praying we can emerge as a strong couple with a new found love for the Lord and for each other. I am praying He shows me my own issues and that I can emerge with a healthy view of men and myself. I continue to pray for our children, may God put a hedge before and behind them as we sift through the debris of a shattered marriage and walk through this fallen world, one day at a time.